Pedophiles In Cheap Ass Suits

My friend thought he looked uncomfortable.

My daughter and I told her it was because he was wearing a suit.

The arraignment lasted two minutes. He got to go first because the serious cases get to go first.

Thanks to having a fancy lawyer, he didn't have to come into the room until the very last minute. And then his lawyer was notified that we had an official "advocate" with us by the court.

I s'pose he was notified so he was extra careful not to fuck up or something.

The infuriating thing was that they didn't even read out what he was being charged with. His lawyer just broke in and said "Due to the nature of the charges, we move to schedule the omnibus hearing."

Hmmm. What a concept. Having a CHOICE as to being humiliated. Having a CHOICE as to staying safely behind your chosen person of protection.

CHOICE.

Something not granted to your own child.

As soon as they were done, they breezed out of the courtroom and my friend and I jumped up because we were totally ready to run out of the courtroom and slam the door into him in our haste to fuck him up in the hallway.

That's when having an advocate was PROBABLY a good idea. She very calmly said "Sit down...sit down...give it a minute...sit down..."

So I sat. And we waited while other people without fancy lawyers got to stand up and discuss in detail why they stoled from the grocery store.

Wow. Theft.

That's heavy.

So now we go to the next level. Omnibus hearing, March 9th at 1:30.

Plenty of time to get the lies straight.

I have never hated someone so much in my entire life.

Rage

What do you do with the rage?

I've talked to many friends and professionals and they all tell me the same thing. You can't let it eat you up. It's a waste of your time and energy. Be patient and let the legal system take it's course. Don't talk like a crazy person or you'll wind up in jail instead of him.

While all of these things are true, there are days when it seems like, unless you've been there, unless you've held the police report in your hands and read what your husband did to your child, you just are totally clueless.

"I hear you have a cancerous tumor, you know, that really isn't a good idea. You really shouldn't do that."

My rage is not optional.

I'm going to the arraignment on Tuesday. I will be nothing but a witness to the process. I will also have two friends to come with me to grab the back of my coat should I begin to make any lunging movements. Perhaps they'll need to put me in a shock collar.

But I have been wondering lately how we will work the divorce hearing. I told my lawyer that I couldn't handle being in the same room with STBX. I told her that my only comforting fantasy is where I put a bullet in his head. I told her that civility, in this instance, will not exist. I will not sit in the same room and act as if I don't want to tear him limb from limb.

Especially when he wants to give a sob story of how I owe him money.

My rage percolates through everything I do. Never try to frost a Valentine's Day cake when the frosting won't cooperate and your hands won't stop shaking because of the images running through your head. The cake ended up decorating the inside of the trash can after I ripped it to shreds with my hands. A perfect Valentine's Day metaphor.

It's a good thing that he has his sister who still loves him. Since he confessed to her, if he brings this whole nightmare to a trial, her ass is going to be on the witness stand as well. Along with his girlfriend whom he also confessed to. The Pedophile Possee, as I call them. My rage will make sure that his support system is put under the spotlight as well.

I have to hold my hands out in front of me, gripping one in the other, to stop their shaking. They long to take their pound of flesh.

My rage is not optional.

Happy 400th Blog Post! Charge on!

As Blogger has just informed me, this is blog post 400.

Well, I guess I'd better not waste it, eh?

I was able to get all my paperwork handed in today for food stamps. Apparently when you have an Order For Protection, you don't have to wait 90 days on income. Now I just need to wait and see what happens.

I also got a phone call from the St. Louis County Attorney's Office. My S-T-B-Ex Husband has been charged by the county prosecutor for second degree criminal sexual conduct. He will be arraigned on Tuesday, February 17th in the first floor arraignment court at the county courthouse sometime between 8 am and noon. Don't know if I need to be there but I will be... I want to witness his first brush with consequences. Perhaps I'll bring popcorn!

Last but not least, I leave in an hour to get taxes done. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to shake out this year but it will be interesting.

Oh, wait a minute! One more thing!

I hit my goal weight today! I have officially lost 85 pounds. I can now start learning how to maintain instead of lose. To celebrate, I totally lost my head and bought a bathing suit at Target today. It actually has a bright bold print on it and what's more, I LIKED BUYING A BATHING SUIT! I have NEVER had a pretty bathing suit and I have never bought a suit without wanting to cry.

So, all in all, I believe I will call this a good day.