Friday, October 20, 2006

Relentless Navel Gazing or "The Healing Process"

So, being fed up with medicine in the mainstream, I decided to visit a local MD who is a little bit different than the rest. Now, I am the first person to admit that once upon a time, I was a messed up crazy f%@*. I went through a few years of hell and although I am always vigilant for the craziness to return, it hasn't. My thoughts on keeping the crazies away is to learn healthy ways to cope, to work through past traumas, and to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

Now, I don't recommend this for everyone. There are people out there listening to the demonic voices coming from their toasters every morning and I would never presume to tell these people to get over it. I have never fought in a war and killed someone so I will also never tell veterans to get over it. I can only say from the vantage point of someone who has a good life now, only a really shitty past, that it is a good thing to work through your issues (not avoiding them) and then go on.

Perhaps I have moved on a little further than this particular doctor would prefer as he wants to have our next "session" on shitty baggage that I have long since dropped. Perhaps I'm not into nurturing my inner child, perhaps I am deep down avoiding a whole host of issues by being glib and facetious, or perhaps I would just like to tell him that I spent three years of hell going through this shit and I feel it is healthier to look forward rather than back.

When I made the comment that I left the first urologists office in tears because he was a condecending dick, I was the recipient of this theory that I was upset because I was put in a position of helplessness, just like in the past. I have to admit, I almost broke out laughing. Ummm, sorry Mr. Rogers but the reason I broke down crying was that I try to live my life within the conventions of civil society and this veritable horse's ass of a physician desperately needed to have the shit kicked out of him. To add insult to injury, I was paying him.

After telling me this, I was plied with over eight different types of supplements and warned off any kind of prescription medication because it wasn't "natural". I had hoped to get guidance on improving my diet and getting an exercise program in place, I had not planned on leaving with a pocket full of "natural" supplements.

So I've spent my time since then battling with the overwhelming nausea that comes from taking fistfulls of vitamins.

I think my inner child needs a drink and a shower...

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