Before And After

Many years ago, I listened to readings from "The Disappearance" by Genevieve Jurgensen on This American Life. It was on an episode called "Where Words Fail". I purchased the book, read it, and placed it back on my book shelf.

I used to have a lot of books but now? Not so much. I recycle books. I find them in odd places and pass them along when I'm done.

Except for a few. The books that I have kept are littered with marginalia and underlined passages. I have a couple of index card files filled with quotes that I have copied down, words and phrases that roll around in my head and heart.

I never realized that The Disappearance had a subtitle until I pulled it off the shelf yesterday. "A Primer of Loss".

Sometimes, the things we need most are right there in our hands.

The Ghost Of Books Past

Dear Amazon:

Stop it. Just stop it.

Stop with all the automatic recommendations!

While you may think that you are being helpful, you are not.

Yes, I did order that Harry Potter book in Spanish five hundred years ago.

Yes, I do check out your low low prices on knitting books.

Yes, I did order that book on “keeping your shit together when you are a non offending parent”

Yes, I did order that book on sexual addiction.

But STOP WITH THE RECOMMENDATIONS ALREADY!

I am not interested in knitting books for incarcerated offenders with sex addiction problems written in Spanish!

JUST STOP!

Wednesdaze

March 9th is the next great date on the calendar. The omnibus hearing. 1:30, Courtroom 4.

It is less than two weeks away.

If nothing else comes out of it, I hope it makes it into the legal news of our paper. Do they still do legal news in the Duluth News Tribune? Or has it been replaced by pictures of some body's grandchildren eating cotton candy four years ago in some city a thousand miles away?

We are nothing, if not up to date on local news.

I want his workplace to have the opportunity of thumbing through the newspaper and seeing his name. I want them to realize that an employee that they send out door to door in our community has been charged with being a pedophile. I want to be the fly on the wall when they call him in and ask "What the fuck is this???"

Oh, but THAT'S RIGHT! He has a big fancy lawyer! I'm sure he'll be able to threaten to sue them if they fire him. After all, we all have an absolute RIGHT to enjoy the company of a pedophile on our doorstep.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Not that I don't ENJOY having to deal with the devastation that he has left behind.

Not that, you know, I don't wish him a FABULOUS day!

I've learned many new terms and phrases in the wake of this mess. I, for one, have the title of "the non-offending parent". I like to call myself "NOP" for short. (I am in the process of writing a next generation Dr. Seuss book about my experience with the legal system. It will be called "Hop On Nop") I discovered this term while perusing Amazon for books written by people in my situation. There aren't many and some (thank you Amazon for the option to read a page from the book)seem to simply be streams of consciousness vomited out onto paper.

As opposed to streams of consciousness vomited out onto the internet.

I did order one that was written specifically by a mom navigating the legal system. It was .88 cents so I thought I would take a risk.

I am already planning what to do on March 9th when we get out of the courtroom. It will be a big deal for me and my daughter will be taking pictures. That's all I'll say for now.

Except that it doesn't involve handguns.
Or pole dancing.

I do, after all, have standards.

I have an update on Zelda! I have found her in a music video!