People often comment on my knitting when I'm on the bus. Normally when people ask why I knit, I tell them that I find it relaxing. I am considering branching out and adding the following responses to my repertoire:
I knit to keep myself out of the bars and off the streets.
I knit to amuse the barking dogs inside my head.
I knit to support my heroin habit.
I knit to have an excuse to always carry sharp objects.
I knit to torture those I hate with objects of my questionable creativity.
I knit to make myself novelty yarn thongs. They make me smile.
I knit as an icebreaker when trolling for sex. Here's my phone number...
I knit to keep my hands busy and away from the 357 magnum in my purse.
I knit to make my “woman suit”. This isn’t yarn…