Saturday, June 07, 2008

Thought On Public Wanking

Duluth isn't that big of a place and usually isn't all that exciting in the area of public nudity but I had the chance to pass by the location of my one brush with public wanking today and it just had me travelling down memory lane.

My kids were really young, my daughter was probably around three so this must have been about twelve years ago. I believe we were out on a Sunday morning and I happened to drive by what was then Taran's Marketplace. Like any self respecting mother with kids in the back seat on an early Sunday morning, I was miles away and totally in my own happy world. Well, imagine my surprise when I stopped at the stop sign and happened to glance over to my right only to see a guy in his twenties or thirties standing on the street corner with his pants to his knees. He was facing away from us and not only was his pale Minnesota ass hanging out for us to see, he was using the public telephone AND he was wanking all at the same time.

Now, let's have a little sympathy for this guy before you go and get all incredulous on me. He was looking a little rough. I can only imagine they were having a two for one sale at the local meth house (remember children, meth is a gateway drug!). Perhaps this poor guy had his phone cut off because he was smoking a little too much and couldn't make it into work. And perhaps this guy had a bit of an addiction to phone sex. Come on now, we've all been there...

I just remember saying "Oh my GOD!" and then flooring it through the intersection because the last thing I wanted was my extremly perceptive daughter to ask me why a bare man's ass was mere feet from her window. And why did he feel the need to be talking on the phone when his bare ass was mere feet from her window. And why....well, thank goodness she was only three...

The problem is, twelve years later, I still think of this as the Wanking Corner. Taran's marketplace is gone now and the Chester Creek Cafe is there. The truely ironic thing is, the restaurant is owned by lesbians and I highly doubt they are aware that mentally, when I pass by their establishment, all I can think of is bare assed wanking.

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