Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Put Me In The Zoo

My job is moving.

Not to Mexico or India or China, but just down the street. This is a good thing and I'm looking foreward to it being over and done with but in the mean time, it is a bit stressful and weird.

Just yesterday, I was working at my computer when I had the creepy sensation I was being watched. I looked up to see a group of architects peering in at me. Well, actually they were peering in at my work space but there were at least 20 of them and I had a sudden inspiration to shit in my hand and fling it at them.

After they shuffled on to some other interesting piece of business, I began to think about all the group names for people and professions. I took all of these from actual animal collective nouns:

A culture of art historians
A shoal of beachcombers
A sleuth of detectives
A colony of hippies
A grist of millworkers
A clash of rock musicians
An obstinacy of Frenchmen
An intrusion of reporters
A quiver of jello makers
A rag of tampon makers
A float of surfers
A murder of policemen
A litter of garbagemen
A brace of orthopedist
A paddling of canoeists
A skulk of spies
A gaggle of gossip reporters
A cloud of meteorologists
An implausibilty of faithhealers
A trip of travel writers
A troubling of facists
A hedge of botonists
A bloat of menstrating women
A mute of speech pathologists
A smack of drug dealers
A kindle of arsonists
An ascension of mountain climbers
An exaultation of bishops
A leap of gymnists
A plague infectious disease experts
A gulp of chefs
A stud of fertility doctors
A richness of bankers
A mischief of toddlers
A labour of union organizers
A parliament of Torries
A yoke of chicken farmers
A bed of furniture salesmen
An ostentation of billionairs
A Peep of nuns
A parcel of UPS drivers
A huddle of football players
A bouquet of florists
A flight of pilots
A string of knitters
A bevy of businessmen
A swarm of teenagers
A rhumba of dancers
An unkindness of politicians
A crash of driver's ed instructors
A herd of audiologists
A building of roofers
A drove of Nascar drivers
A murmuration of monks
A mustering of soldiers
A lamentation of priests
A sounder of audiologists
A drift of sailors
A swift of runners
A knot of tatters
A hover of parents
A rafter of builders
A bale of farmers
A dule of fencers
A descent of spelunkers
A dazzle of drag queens

Yes, I have way too much time on my hands.

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