The Devil Went Down To A Law Firm

Now I never had an understanding of why anyone would want to be a lawyer and my experiences lately have only led me to believe that any lawyer can be made to stand up for any person as long as they have a big stack of money to sleep on at night.

When my lawyer heard that STBX was contesting ANYTHING regarding our divorce, she flipped tits and yelled at me because she figured there HAD to be something I had lied about. No person in their right mind cheats on a spouse, molests their child, and then demands money. I told her exactly what I had done, I told her all of the bills I paid that were strictly in his name, and I laid out a little spread sheet for her where all the money went. She flitted her hand in the air and said "We're not going to worry about THAT!"

Yeah, thanks for that stellar observation.

The problem with her is that she has apparantly not dealt with a spouse who feels he has never done a single thing wrong in his life. This is a person who is hateful, depressed, negative, and has a sole purpose in life: Make everyone realize how horribly wrong they have treated him since he is the only one in the universe that has ever felt pain.

What I really would love to do is be a fly on the wall when he talks to his divorce lawyer because I can tell exactly how he would frame it. Seventeen years of living with this horrible loser and I can tell which brain cells will be firing (or mis-firing).

Lawyer: So, you cheated on her
STBX: Yeah, but...
Lawyer: So, you molested your daughter
STBX: Yeah, but
Lawyer: And your petition for divorce states that you will pay for her legal fees, your children's counseling, and child support.
STBX: Yeah, but that has nothing to do with this. THIS is the fact that SHE SCREWED ME.
Lawyer: And after all of these deductions, you will still owe her money, is that correct?
STBX: Yeah, but that's beside the point.
Lawyer leans back in his chair, puts his feet on his desk, and lovingly carresses his freshly written check: Well, let's get that bitch!