Friday, April 17, 2009

Is that Jose Cuervo In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

The next date for the divorce crap is May 5th.

MAY 5th? Cinco De Mayo! WTF? Doesn't the court system know of my Mexican heritage? My deep seated love for all things that involve tequila? And it's at 4 pm! I should be half in the bag by that time!

Plus, it's the Buddha's birthday and being the highly devout Buddhist that I am, I think it's bad karma to be involved in such negativity on that day. Plus...TEQUILLA PEOPLE! Buddha would want me to truly understand what suffering is and I will...on the morning of May 6th.

Somehow I feel that I will be in less than a party mood afterwards. It takes a certain amount of levity to wear an overly large sombrero and have the bartender mix the margaritas directly in your salt encrusted mouth. I need to be in the right frame of mind.

Oh well. I suppose I will endure but it's shit like this that REALLY makes me angry.

Now that we have our name change date and I have the next divorce date, you know what that leaves...hellllloooooo criminal court.....the judge is back now....and our date is what???

So far our little tour around the legal system will have taken us in front of four different judges. I'm thinking of creating a Flat Stanley project and touring him around the local lawyers and judges to document what life has been for our family in 2009.

I could think of some stellar captions:

"Here's Stanley, meeting the criminal lawyer that managed to get the parent off after it was discovered that their baby died when it was thrown against the wall. He's a very smart man and got them off on a technicality. Isn't that special kids?"

"Here's the judge that gave a harsher sentence to a man that fucked a dead deer than to a man who raped a woman. Wave hello kids..."

"And here's the future Harkness children's daddy. He likes little children in a very bad way. His story is still being written."

Yeah, which way to the tequilla?

1 comment:

Shelly said...

Oh Gawd....your salt encrusted mouth...funny as HELL, girl!