Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Goal For The Day-Be A Biohazard

Thanks to the ever so intelligent people that comment on this here blog, I got my home phone number changed. It was an amazing transaction when I got to the person I needed to talk to and told her my sob story. She has seven kids of her own and her mamma bear instincts were there for me. Free unlisted number? Check. Her personal email and direct phone number for when our name change takes place so I don't have to tell our story to another stranger? Check.

Now my daughter and I are dealing with horrible colds. Strep is going around at work and I'm hoping, by the power of grey skull, that we don't have it. Simply getting out of bed this morning was a monumental chore. It's times like this that certain realizations are really driven home to me: I would never make it to the summit of Mt. Everest.

Oh yeah, and single parenting sucks goat balls.

But then I have another realization. If STBX were here, would he really do anything to help me? Odds are, no. He would probably get sick as well and of course, his illness would be ten thousand times worse than anyone elses in the entire universe and we would have to light candles and pray to the blessed virgin for his miraculous recovery.

So, having to haul my shaking, freezing, sweating, coughing ass out of bed and take care of the dogs and wash my hair using the cream rinse first and then the shampoo, and then making an entire pot of coffee for just myself and my son and then realizing that I'm wearing my shirt backwards ended up being the first 45 minutes of my morning. After work entails picking up new glasses, taking daughter to work, taking son to Russian, grocery shopping, reversing the child drop off system, and then going home to more work on the garage sale. Doesn't sound like much but the gnomes gnawing at the lower lobes of my lungs are not liking it one bit.

Perhaps I should just run to Walgreens and get some Thera Flu or some other good stuff that is sold from behind the counter. I think this day would be best passed in a drug induced stupor.


Shelly said...

You are right, single parenting DOES suck goat balls, but, you've pretty much been on your own this whole time, anyway, and at least your kids aren't babies, so, there are long stretches in the day in which you don't have to be Hands On. Feel better! Get some rest...

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the number change! : )

Here's another bunch of helpful tips from one old & wise single parent to the new & freshly single parent...

Single parenting is easier than being in a sham marriage with (pick one) a dead beat, a pedophile, aging juvenile rock "star", abuser, or other rock around your neck.

Far easier. For one, you make the family rules and keep them. Breakfast in bed on Sunday? It's a rule. Blue day on Wednesday? It's a rule. Whatever you want.

So here's a tip for the cold (if it is just a cold); either get a neti pot and follow the directions or, using any uniodized salt mixed in warm water- snort the salt water until it runs down the back of your throat. Gargle, blow, and spit the salt water. This is cheap, easy, and effective to clear away the crud. Like brushing your teeth without the brush. Kind of.

Take a multi-vitamin and/or zinc + vit c with lots of extra fluids. Take otc acetaminophen for the aches and skip the asa for the less than 21 set. If the salt water lavage doesn't clear out the mucous, take a Benedryl for the night. Money better spent than Thera-flu. And you know that if things get better instead of worse in 7 days...

Eat well, get rest (it's okay to cancel a few activities, even work!). If it is the common cold, the above treatment will shorten up the life span of the virus and make all of you more comfortable.

I swear! Take care.