Let's See Disney Make THIS Into A Movie

Little girls have dreams.

Whether they are prancing around in their princess costumes or hanging upside down from the apple tree in the backyard, they have dreams about their future.

I ALWAYS dreamed that I would never be married to a convicted felon.

From the time that I was putting on dress up clothes and arranging my stuffed animals into family groups, I would sometimes pause, cock my head to one side, place my index finger in the dimple of my right cheek and say:

"Of all the things I can have in this world, I hope I never am married to a man deemed "scum-worthy" by the prevailing legal system."

Whether he is taken into custody on June 26th or not, that will be the date that he is sentenced. He will be a convicted felon. That much is not up for debate.

I wanted to have our divorce crap completed by father's day. I wanted that symbolic holiday to be mine, not his.

But I suppose telling his lawyer that I won't life a damn finger to give him back his possessions, that if he wants to retrieve anything he has to obey the rules for the order for protection, that perhaps it has slowed things down.

So, perhaps I won't be divorced by father's day. Nevertheless, it would be great to be divorced by June 25th. The little girl in me would like to at least be able to say "Of all the disappointments I've encountered in my life, at least I was never married to a felon."

Best of all? I WON'T be baking a cake with a file in it.