Monday, October 12, 2009

Who Am I Kidding? My Entire House Is A Code Violation

Far be it for me to second guess the local fire codes, especially when I live in a house that, at any moment, could probably burst into flames simply because IT HATES ME, but really?

I got an appraisal on windows on Saturday and the new fire code is that a house has to have a smoke detector in every bedroom.

We have a tiny house. Upstairs we have a tiny hallway with all bedrooms coming off it.

The smoke detector is in the tiny hallway, less than four feet from each bedroom.

Yeah, yeah, I realize that the reasoning stems from people shutting their bedroom doors at night but it seems like there should also be some sort of indication of how far apart the smoke detectors need to be.

But, as I said, my house hates me. If it ever burns to the ground and the arson investigator has to write a final report, I can guarantee his conclusions would be: "Cause of fire: The house appears to have gathered tremendous amounts of psychic energy over the years and it used this to burst into flames when its lack of arms or hands disallowed it from 'cutting a bitch'".

The windows dude said that inspectors have been notorious for going in after they have installed their windows and not bothering to look at the windows, they just check to see if the smoke detectors are in place. Oh? Not in compliance? Guess what? You get to pay this fee to the city which is great because the city is broke and this is how we're making up for it."

Parking meters and smoke detectors people. We'll get this city put back right in no time!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I'm not sure if it's the same in your neck of the woods, but if a person can't afford smoke detectors, the fire department will give you some for free. Worth looking into.