Laying Down The Law

There are times when I just need to lay down the law with myself.

Myself can be quite the handful.

I need to finish painting the actual stairs (as opposed to the abstract stairs???).

It wouldn't take too long and I'd really like to be able to lay the carpet runner this weekend, it's just that I have zero tolerance for much of anything once I get home from work. Dinner? Dogs? Vegetating on the sofa? Check.

Anything productive? Uncheck.

So I'm going to tell myself that I'm going to meet a friend and go to Bentleyville on Thursday night. I really do want to go and she has a small child. Holiday lights are no fun unless seen through the unjaded eyes of a child. Me? I would no doubt spend two seconds admiring the lights and two hours wondering just how many hours you need to burn those lights to hasten the utter destruction of the habitat of the polar bears.

"See that cute light display with the funny polar bears Johnny? Well, admire them now cuz the real ones are drowning as we speak!"

Yeah, I can be rented out to kids parties to tone down any level of frivolity. I do believe I am known as a "wet blanket".

But if I go with a child I'll keep my damn mouth shut. I'll be able to see the lights as they were intended. My sarcasm will be held in check.

In other words, I will behave.

AND it will force me to realize that if I don't paint the stairs tonight, I won't be able to do it again until Friday and that is when I need to do the final touch ups with the other color on the stairs.

I am holding myself up against the wall and shaking a finger in my face.

PAINT, DAMN YOU! PAINT TONIGHT!