One Year

For a year, I've gotten to contemplate the idea of crime and punishment. Too bad I'm not a Russian writer soaked in vodka. It might have made the journey a little more coherent.

Often I give myself homework. Often I say "I know this will piss me off but I should read it/see it/do it. I just might learn something." Such was my idea behind watching The Woodsman. I thought it would push me a little too close to the edge but I thought I might also learn from it.

Which I did.

The movie centers around a pedophile getting out of prison and his attempts at reintegration into society.

In all honesty, there have been times when I have been so financially stressed that I just sat down and though "Hmmm. All he ever did was sit on his ass. How is doing that exact same thing in prison any kind of punishment?" Hey, he's even going to get tips on how to write out a job application and a resume which will allow him to list the prison system as his EMPLOYER while he's inside working for a buck-o-five an hour.

He will also never have a single obligation ever again for the kids. Life will proceed for him just like it always has...everything will be about him and him alone.

One time during our marriage, he told me he could never handle the thought of ever losing me. If something were to happen to our kids on the other hand, he could handle that...just not something happening to me.

Thankfully, I believe I responded to that statement with "What the fuck????"

So, I'm still trying to understand the idea of punishment.

He will only be able to live in certain places.

He will only be able to hold certain jobs.

Hmmm. Once again... how is this any different from the life he chose for himself before prison? He stayed in jobs that caused him to chafe and bitch at every human interaction. Unless he held a job that was just about him doing solitary tasks, he would never stop complaining.

My only two glimmering lights are that he will have to report to a parole officer. He will have someone who is in charge of him. He will have someone that knows his history and won't take his bullshit.

The other glimmer is that, as a convicted felon, he will never be able to vote again.

As someone who would often spout paranoid drival reguritated by the latest nutcase that he had listened to, voting was something very important to him.

Voting was a hell of a lot more important than his wife or kids.

I guess it's the little things that count.