Friday, September 07, 2007

A Day in Which I Did Not Blow Up My House

I leave for work rather early, around 5:40 a.m. Unbeknownst to some, but knownst to me, it is dark at that time of the morning. And on Tuesday morning of this week, it was foggy. And my crotch was blazing hot due to the fact that it was full of coffee.

Blazing hot crotch.

Now THAT will certainly draw people to this site. You know, all those cassock wearing churchy types...

So, fortunately, the blazing hot crotch incident happened within the confines of my driveway. But, unfortunately, my car was going in reverse at the time.

So, when I jerked the wheel in response to the blazing hot crotch and drove my car up and over the large railroad ties that define my front garden, I was just a tad distressed at the horrible bump and grinding metal sound that my car made.

For one brief and shining moment, the rear end of my car was hung up and the wheels were throwing up some dirt. Amazingly though, I've discovered that the liberal application of the word "FUC*!" screamed at ear splitting decibels, actually can shake a stuck car loose.

So I managed to get off the railroad ties and get the car down the driveway. The billowing cloud of exhaust following my car to work was, I must admit, a little disconcerting, as was the noise my car was now making. I likened it to a bull moose in heat.

I did get to work and thankfully my husband was able to get my car and take it in to reattach the exhaust system to the engine. It wasn't until I got home again that I realized I had come three inches from nailing the corner of the house and about 1/2 inch from nailing the natural gas intake.

I very nearly went from a blazing hot crotch to a blazing hot house.

So, if you really need to analyze the situation, I think it was good karma. Yeah. That's how I'm spinning this one...

Did I mention that I'm applying for a job in Washington DC?

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