Self Inflicted Wounds

"He subjected his life to a series of cataclysmic shocks because he loved to hear the sound of his bones rattle. It was how he knew he was alive." -paraphrase from Angela Carter's 'A Night at the Circus'

Yeah, whenever I find myself around people who are listing off all of the things that they need to do, I always think to myself -How much of this is self inflicted? There is a decided difference between the two conversations:

"I have to go to the board meeting for the opera, chair the fundraising event for the Poodle Fetish Alliance Commission, and take Tammy and Timmy to hockey, soccer, ballet, and Narc-Anon. Of course, ALL of this is happening this week!"

"I have to call the house insurance adjuster to make an appointment for them to come out and view the smoldering ruin that is our home, get my husband to the hospital for his chemo treatment, stop by Animal Allies to see if they have found Fluffy, and call the school to see what the punishment will be for my son leading the rebellion against the standardized testing for No Child Left Behind."

You see where I'm going with this? I have little sympathy for self inflicted wounds. It's all fine and well to grab life by the throat and give it a little shake, just don't come crying to me when you're stressed...

So, I spent this weekend telling myself to shut up. My kitchen table was filled with paperwork for our upcoming knitting retreat this weekend, 500 some odd quilt camp brochures, and 800 some odd Charitable Crafter flyers. It was then that I had an epiphany...

I am Kinkos.

Very rarely does one feel the warm, white beam of understanding shine down upon their face.

I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am not a knitter, quilter, spinner, or indulger of all things chocolate. I am only one thing.

I am Kinkos.

Now, pour me another cup of coffee and tell me how I am going to fit 6 large rubbermaid bins filled with fabric and goodies in my Geo Prism to get them to our day of crafting at Kelly J's on Saturday, September 29th? Especially when I need to pick someone up to take her there...is it illegal to carry passengers duct taped to the top of the car?

Breathe deep.

Remember,

I am Kinkos.