Well, I did manage to grow one thing in my garden this summer, a crop which I harvested with the dog over the weekend.
You see, I sort of forgot about my garden over the summer. I planted potatos and corn and then walked away. We had very little rain and the corn soon looked most unlovely. When we had our garage sale and a guy asked "What happened to your corn?" I told him I was growing it to become a part of a Halloween decoration. It wasn't going to be eaten, just admired for being dead.
But the potato plants seemed to do their thing ok. When I went outside on Monday to dig up the plants, I brought the dog with me as he is a premier digger. It didn't even occur to me to wonder why he stood stock still after I let him in the garden fence. He cocked his head from one side to another and looked intently at the ground. "Hmmm," I said out loud, "You look like a truffle pig".
I turned my back and continued to dig potatoes out of the ground and it wasn't long until I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the pup was doing a crazy little dance. It was then that I noticed he was in a swarm of hornets. And within a millisecond, I started to feel the stinging.
I managed to keep a cool head as I reached into the swarm and grab the dog. Thankfully, he is not an Irish Wolfhound and I was able to run with him in my arms into the house.
Bursting into the kitchen hollaring "OW! OW! OW!" has a tendency to rally the troops. My husband wisked the dog upstairs to the bathroom with the idea that he might put him in the tub and run water to drown the hornets but he was able to hunt them down and squash them with a full roll of toilet paper, including the one that crawled out of the dog's ear.
And I grabbed a handful of benedryl, scraped the stings with a credit card, applied meat tenderizer and ice, and spent the rest of the day on the fouton with the dog as my guardian. Every time I moved, he looked at me to make sure that I was alright. He even accompanied me to the shower and put his front paws on the rim of the tub so he could keep me in site.
Not sure if he was scared, concerned, or puzzled but I discovered that when the shit hits the fan, I know who I can depend on.