As you may have noticed, the linkage in the side bar has grown considerably. I am in the process of closing down my Charitable Crafters group and today I deleted the pathetic excuse for a blog BUT I saved the tasty tasty craft links.
It's been somewhat inevitable, my closing down Charitable Crafters. I think I totally burned out after our holiday stocking gig last year and since I can no longer knit, feeling obliged to sit with the knitters while doing nothing but daydreaming about all the things I could be doing, has been a bit depressing.
It's been a long strange journey. When I was able to knit, going into the yarn store was like loading up the crack pipe. Everything I touched held potential, every yarn was eye catching, the smell of wool got me totally inspired. Now, that part of my brain has ceased to work. I stand in the yarn store and look around and say to myself..."meh...so what?"
I must admit, this attitude has extended into other areas of my life. I find myself really needing to purge a lot of crap out of my house lately. I think it's a metaphor for my life. It needs a good turning upside down with a vigorous shake. I think that's why I also am not thrilled about fabric stores anymore because I sit at my sewing machine and I start to feel claustrophobic because I'm surrounded by fabric. The fabric, however, will not be purged, simply used up...someday...somehow.
So, anyway, the main reason for rolling up the rug on my group has been my inability to get excited by anything to do with yarn or fabric or creativity. I used to fawn over donations. Now, I just say "meh...so what?"
Another reason? My "Giveafuckability" when it comes to other members of the human race. There was a time when I had the ability to be diplomatic when a volunteer with intractible OCD has turned in her 5,000,000th ugly item of which she has told you not to donate any of her items to poor people or god forbid...Black People! Now, I just want to take people like that and physically slap them upside the head.
From a distance, a person might think that I'm depressed but it doesn't feel that way to me. It just feels like a major life shift, a change into something new. I got myself into a new frame of mind when I started dieting and exercising 58 days ago and I think it's spilling into all aspects of my life. "If I don't like it, I'm going to change it."
I've lost 26 pounds now, and I've gained a shit load of attitude...maybe I need to lie down with a chocolate bar?