The past three weeks have taught me something vital. Diplomacy can only go so far and timewasters and assholes need to be given the opportunity to have a blinding moment of self realization.
On the timewaster front, when you move an office building there is an incredibly important thing that everyone must realize. Everyone's applecart has been upended and before you come running to me with your complaints, ask yourself one thing...in the present context, does this really matter?
Things that are important? Oh, getting the internets back up, getting everyone's computer going, getting the copier going, getting the phones going...yeah, you get my drift.
Things that don't matter? That the water pitcher that I brought for myself but which I am willing to share with others as long as they fill it after using, makes the water taste funny because it doesn't have a lid. I believe my look of deadpan "YOUHAVEGOTTOBEFUCKINGKIDDINGME" conveyed my emotions rather handily.
"If you don't like it...don't drink it."
Oh my God! This IS rocket science!
Next, there was the concerned observation that the automatic ice machine wasn't making enough ice. Hmmm. Really? Let's see, we plugged it in less than twelve hours ago. Can we perhaps find something a little more pressing to bug me about?
It has been death by a thousand cuts over the past three weeks so when I left work yesterday afternoon and was accosted by a twentysomething guy in baggy pants and messy hair, I was just a little bit pissed off.
"What is it with all you women and your short hair!" He snarled at me.
I think I stopped and gaped like a fish out of water for a moment and then asked him
"What? We're not supposed to be able to wear our hair like we want to?"
"Well, I don't like it!" He shot back.
"Well, thankfully," I informed him "Your opinion doesn't matter at-fucking-all to me."
As I pushed past him to go to my car, all I could think of was one thing.
Now why didn't I use that line three weeks ago???