Saturday, October 25, 2008

Applying Strong Upward Motion To The Bootstraps

Random observations from the past two weeks of my life:

I drove from Cloquet to Duluth and witnessed gas prices at five different gas stations. Highest price? $2.70. Lowest price? $2.49. Some people obviously aren't getting the memo.

I ordered half a pig awhile ago from Green Pastures Dairy. My little piggy went to market on Tuesday. Wednesday night, my little piggy was in my freezer. I know have bacon for the apocalypse. I also have an entire chest freezer filled with porcine goodness as well as farm raised chickens and buffalo. Next week? Power outage!

The Youth Exchange jerk from the previous post apologized for my "misinterpretation" of his behavior. I registered my complaint with another member of the interview panel and he came back with his apology which, I must admit, is quite funny. He is restrained and well mannered and asks my daughter to reconsider because she was chosen to go onto the next tier of interviews. Her response? Yeah, started with an "F", ended with a "U".

My son started taking Russian this week. My daughter can speak to him in Japanese, he can sputter out some basic Russian, and I can sit between them like Bill Murray in Lost in Translation.

While watching the news and learning about folks that decided to buy a home fifty miles away from the husband's job in an upscale suburb, I watched the guy talk about how gas prices made him put $250 into his SUV every two days and yes, they were three months behind on their house payment, and yes, they bought more house than they really needed but it was so AFFORDBALE at the time, and then learning that this guy had access to a light rail line which connected to a bus which could get him to work but his answer to that was "I'm not the kind of guy to take public transportation", well, I really have a hard time mustering up sympathy for this family. But don't worry, they're voting for the party that has the most faith in Jesus because hey, as you know, SUV's run on faith. I on the other hand, was the un-american who was shouting at my tv that these rotten turds were probably going to get bailed out with my tax money. Here are your bootstraps bitches, I suggest you use them.

On the flip side, I got a call from the DFL a couple nights ago with an extremly pushy woman that suggested I donate $150. She was amazing in her ability to read her script and not deviate in the least. I snorted at the suggestion of $150 and told her I needed to buy food for my family. She actually came back with "But you obviously don't realize how important the issues are ma'am." "Really?" I asked her. "More important than gas in my car, food for my children, and paying off the thousands of dollars in medical debt that we have because we're uninsured? Really?" She then launched right back into her script as if I had just told her I would be selling off one of my summer homes and a yacht tomorrow. I finally broke in and told her that if she continued, I would vote for Norm Coleman and it would be all her fault. It was at this point that she discontinued the call.

As Fannie Lou Hamer said so eloquently, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."

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