Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Quality Control

Dear Pakastani Child That Made My New Winter Coat:

Hi There! Yes, I am the white, middle America type woman that purchased the coat you made. I really love it, no seriously, really. I'm going for a total Dennis Weaver McCloud look.

I think it accentuates my new glasses and smaller ass and believe me, what I say can totally bring the fashion world to a screeching halt. Yes, I am THAT powerful.

That being said, I must bring up this one concern.
What is it with you people and buttons these days?

I know your hands are tiny. I know the building that you are working in is probably an unheated cinderblock affair. I know you probably are a kindergarten drop out because your parents needed you to get off your lazy ass and EARN YOUR KEEP. After all, it ain't sunshine and fairy dust putting food into the mouths of your ten brothers and sisters (although we all know how expendible those sisters probably are).

But SHIT! The buttons on my stylin' Dennis Weaver coat are hanging by a thread as were the buttons on the last coat I bought. I also just spent a LABORIOUS afternoon sewing buttons on my husband's shirt since they were also hanging by a tear soaked thread.

I am seriously thinking about finding you. Have you no concept of quality control? Doesn't that scary man with the cat o nine tails standing over you inspire you to SEW THOSE FUCKIN BUTTONS ON A LITTLE TIGHTER???

I don't need this frustration my little friend. Don't you realize how much stress I'm under right now? I'm trying to pay my house payment. I'm trying to pay my heating. I'm looking at an unemployed spouse at the end of the month. I don't have health care. The windows in my house are older than I am and twice as cold and drafty. I can't afford a new coat right now but I needed one since my old coat was the size of a circus tent and now I discover, MY FUCKING BUTTONS ARE LOOSE.

I think you need to take a serious look at your job quality and think about your motivations for being where you are. Perhaps it's time to move on? Perhaps you need to consider your CUSTOMER for a change.

Thank you.


Mary said...

Damn, I've had a lot of loose buttons lately, too! What gives? What happened to taking pride in your workmanship, little Bangladeshi kids? Seriously.

(This entry cracked me up at exactly the point on a Friday afternoon where I really needed cracking up. Thanks!)

feistyMNgirl said...

oh, your sarcasm makes me smile.