Yesterday was a very intentional day for me.
I wanted to have a day in which I realized all the things that were comforting/good for me and then proceed to do them.
I started off the day in my new recliner swathed in comfy blankets and Corgis, reading my go-to literature choice in times of trial: Polar expeditions gone HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG. Nothing like cannabilism to put your problems in the proper perspective.
I then proceeded to my ongoing project of remodeling our dining room. I'm going to guess that a lot of home/DIY projects happen after a marriage splits up. I've lived inside a home of unfinished construction projects for years now. This house has always represented for me the inside of my soon-to-be-ex-husband's mind: everything in disarray and clutter, full of ugliness, and negativity. Just tearing the carpet up was an act of defiance. The wallpaper coming down has been more representational of this whole rotten process, it takes a lot of hard work, visioning, and filthy, filthy swear words.
I then proceeded to pull out my new favorite toy. A random orbital sander! The wooden floors beneath the horrible carpet are also horrible and although I don't have the money for a new floor, I did have the money for a random orbital sander. I wasn't sure if I could make it look good but the one patch that I practiced on now looks KICK ASS. It's about 2' x 2' and it took quite a bit of time but at least now I realize all I really need is elbow grease and time. I also went to Home Depot and salivated over the different colors of varnish and paint. Is it entirely healthy to pick up "antique walnut" varnish and actually gasp out loud at the possibilities?
After this, I proceeded to get a chiropractic alignment and then a massage. I've only had one massage before this and it was by a guy and it was a little intimidating. This massage was from a female and it was very nice. I sincerely made an effort to relax and concentrate on all the negative self blame bullcrap that I've been beating myself up with. I'm sure there are psychologists out there somewhere in the world that do talk therapy while their clients are getting a massage, because if there aren't I really need to fire off a letter to the American Psychological Association. Patent Pending...ME.
I had intended on ending my day with a full moon yoga class in the evening but after I got home from the massage, I decided that the best thing for me would be to park my butt in my recliner and end the day as I had begun it.
Today will consist of ferreting through the tools in the garage to bring some sort of semblance to what is out there. The garage is also like my soon-to-be-ex-husband's mind: all the nice things are discarded on the floor to rust and waste away.
Well, we can't have THAT anymore now, can we?