Today will be a much more positive post. Just want to throw that out there for anyone eyeing the computer screen while reaching behind them for something, anything, that can be used in self defense. No, drop the cat, really. Hurling a cat as a weapon has been been banned by the Geneva Convention (which means we've been hurling cats for years now, you just didn't know about it.)
As I said, it's a roller coaster ride. I'm a quarter of the way through and I just realized I needed to fasten my seatbelt.
As I write this, it's 4:30 a.m, the coffee is hot and delicious, and my dogs are at my feet. As a back sliding Buddhist, I had to remind myself of three things yesterday. 1. Breathe. 2. Live in the present. 3. Karma is all the revenge one needs.
If all of this crap had happened even a few short years ago, I would not have had the intelligence to reach out to people and admit that I need help. I used to think that doing everything on my own and holding up the world on my back was a sign of strength and independance. Thankfully I now know that it is a sign of raving stupidity. There are things in this world that are too big to fit inside one skull, too heavy to bear on one back. For all the garbage that has gone on since December 19th, I stand back in amazement at the wonderful circle of friends I have. When I speak of karma, this is what I think of.
This week is filled with more appointments, legal paperwork, and hopefully successful policework. Also, I decided I needed a little inspirational desk art at work...I've always held a reverence for Kuan Yin but at a time when I feel the importance of protecting my kids so acutely, I think I need her by my side.