Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hurry Up and Slow Down

Yet another early morning. The response to my petition for divorce revealed nothing new except that he wants to claim one of the kids on his taxes. Hmmmm, wonder if that should be the one he DIDN'T molest?

His response also listed that there wasn't any order for protection involved in our proceedings. Yeah, makes me wonder if his lawyer screwed up and wrote the wrong thing or he just conveniently forgot to tell his lawyer the truth. Makes me wonder if his lawyer knows anything about the criminal case. STBX is an idiot, but he can't possibly think this is something he can keep quiet. I called and left a message with my lawyer, whom I am now calling C_ nt Face, to point this fact out but I'm sure she'll do another airy fairy wave of her hand and blow me off. It will all come out in the wash...nothing will happen without me knowing about it...patience is once again a virtue. I want to take my copies of the order for protection and the county prosecutor's charges to his lawyer and say "Here's the rest of the story", but somehow, I think that would be a no no. It might make C_nt Face cranky. As we all know, there's nothing worse than a cranky c_nt.

I want to get this over because the very fact that I am still married to this person makes me want to vomit. I am tempted to pay for our name change myself simply to get the process rolling. Everytime I hear someone say my first name with his last name, it's like getting whipped across the face. I hear the words he said to my daughter. I see the things he did. There are times when I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom where I become physically ill. It would actually be a great party trick, I should hire myself out to the circus.

It's hard to know how to proceed with so much up in the air. I'm certainly going to stand up for the idea that he can only claim one of our kids on his taxes if he is actually paying child support and actually filing an income tax return. These are two things he won't be doing if he's incarcerated. I'll be damned if I'm going to agree to letting him claim one of the kids and then not be able to claim that child myself when he's locked up.

I'm sure C_nt Face will just give me another airy fairy wave. Don't worry! Relax!

I also don't want him trying to claim a child on his taxes after they start college. I'm fuzzy on how that might work but I'll be damned if I'm going to have any contact with this asshole to check in and get a copy of his taxes so I can fill out financial aid information for college.

This all leads me to question if I should just forgo asking for child support. If he isn't paying child support, he can't claim anything on his taxes. If he's incarcerated, he won't be paying child support anyway. If...If....If...If...If

The faster that I want all this to proceed, the more I realize I should slow down. I shouldn't sign anything until I know what will happen in his criminal case.

Which means I will be the one standing in the middle of the room, flames licking my skin, burning as I wait. It hurts like hell, but it gives a lovely glow.


Rebecca Hartong said...

I hope you're not getting tired of my comments. It's just that...well...your situation is pretty compelling. (Yeah, I know... if I think it's compelling from the point of view of someone who only knows you online [for whatever that's worth] then I should try looking at it from inside your head.)

Anyway, as regards slowing down on the divorce thing: YES. That really does sound like the smartest thing to do. Just wait until the criminal thing is resolved. Once he's in prison, he won't have much opportunity to contest anything. Then you can just go with a simple divorce -- no child support, no further parental rights for him. Just a nice clean break. Hell, you *might* even be able to accomplish it on your own, without the help of a lawyer.

Wulf Gar said...

Be careful about the claiming on the taxes thing!

My father claimed my sister on his taxes, long after she had moved out and was on her own, with her own apartment and job.

When she decided to go to school, she was denied student loans because of HIS income. The student loan people wouldn't even consider the possibility that he had fraudulently claimed, and it took her years to sort it out.

A dirty trick like that sounds just about the speed of your ex. It would be awful if his greed and stupidity hindered your daughter from moving on with her life.

My wife's former husband did another dirty trick to our daughter also. He knew her SSN number, and used it to open credit in her name all over the place. She had bad credit from defaulted loans and missed payments before she was 19, and we traced them all back to him.

What I'm saying is, unfortunately, it's going to be a long time before you can let your guard down. You'll have to be vigilant for many years to come.