Wednesday, February 25, 2009


March 9th is the next great date on the calendar. The omnibus hearing. 1:30, Courtroom 4.

It is less than two weeks away.

If nothing else comes out of it, I hope it makes it into the legal news of our paper. Do they still do legal news in the Duluth News Tribune? Or has it been replaced by pictures of some body's grandchildren eating cotton candy four years ago in some city a thousand miles away?

We are nothing, if not up to date on local news.

I want his workplace to have the opportunity of thumbing through the newspaper and seeing his name. I want them to realize that an employee that they send out door to door in our community has been charged with being a pedophile. I want to be the fly on the wall when they call him in and ask "What the fuck is this???"

Oh, but THAT'S RIGHT! He has a big fancy lawyer! I'm sure he'll be able to threaten to sue them if they fire him. After all, we all have an absolute RIGHT to enjoy the company of a pedophile on our doorstep.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Not that I don't ENJOY having to deal with the devastation that he has left behind.

Not that, you know, I don't wish him a FABULOUS day!

I've learned many new terms and phrases in the wake of this mess. I, for one, have the title of "the non-offending parent". I like to call myself "NOP" for short. (I am in the process of writing a next generation Dr. Seuss book about my experience with the legal system. It will be called "Hop On Nop") I discovered this term while perusing Amazon for books written by people in my situation. There aren't many and some (thank you Amazon for the option to read a page from the book)seem to simply be streams of consciousness vomited out onto paper.

As opposed to streams of consciousness vomited out onto the internet.

I did order one that was written specifically by a mom navigating the legal system. It was .88 cents so I thought I would take a risk.

I am already planning what to do on March 9th when we get out of the courtroom. It will be a big deal for me and my daughter will be taking pictures. That's all I'll say for now.

Except that it doesn't involve handguns.
Or pole dancing.

I do, after all, have standards.

I have an update on Zelda! I have found her in a music video!


Anonymous said...

How odd... Zelda looks very similar to the actress Marg Helgenberger of recent CSI employment.

But perhaps Zelda is just a small town girl, one who lives in a small, icy town near a large body of fresh water. A town given to publicly supporting pedophiles in their community because of the L.A.W.S. supported by the high powered attorneys in their shiny suits and power brunches atop the spinning Radisson tower. Attorneys who are hungry like famished ferrets fighting for scraps in the alley behind the bankrupted butcher.

Zelda knows that in this fictional town near a fictional large freshwater lake that there is another, more powerful tool that she has mastered. It is a tool Zelda keeps well lubricated and well hidden from the prying senses of the rabid ferrets, the skulking pedophiles, and other non-beneficials of the community who, if they knew of the true powers of Zelda's tool, would be quick to steal it from her when she was occupied with other thoughts of the moment, say, maybe, possibly helping out Bob and Ted untangle all that lovely copper...

There is a shop or two in this little town that sells stationary of somewhat limited variety, but just enough to load Zelda's tool of networking and social lubricious nature for purposes of subliminal and, perhaps, some would say anonymous donation of gratuitous information sharing of a socially conscious nature to key power holders in the little community that would help them to immediately differentiate the fly in the soup from the bolus of black pepper. Subtle, anonymous, but to the point. No name, no blame. Zelda whispers sweetly into Ted's willing ear...

Guinifer said...

Zelda rocks "Voodoo Child"! Thank you so much for the link. I'm a longtime lurker - I comment little, mostly because I don't know what to say in the face of your pain. Have courage, know that there are some out here thinking of you. (I have no pull with Jesus whatsoever so I can't help you there, but if good thoughts and wishes can accomplish anything, know I send them your way.)

Anonymous said...

The News Tribune does still publish Matters of Record; however, they are far behind. I saw the Matters of Record last week and their were appearances from December. Perhaps some could notify the News Tribune or television stations about the 3/9 hearing. Then the "offender" could have his own article in the newspaper and possibly be on TV. Instant fame! Hint, hint.

Debbie said...

I'm not allowed to do anything like that because THAT would be harassment!

What anyone else does is their own business...