Rescue Me

Dear Superior Animal Rescue Federation (ARF):

Thank you for denying my application for a rescue kitty for my daughter.

It's nice to know that such fine upstanding people are working for the betterment of the lives of animals in your community.

While I appreciate being lectured by your staff on how horrible of a person I am due to the fact that I did not have my present cat up to date on her vaccines, there is always the slight possibility that the people you are treating like shit do not appreciate it.

After telling the truth on our application that we had two dogs and one cat and that our pets are fixed, your staff proceeded to call our vet. When they didn't have it on record that our latest dog (from the Cloquet Animal Shelter who happens to ROCK!) was fixed, I was met with a snide insinuation that we must be lying. After assuring her that the dog was fixed at the shelter that he came from, I was then challenged on the fact that our cat was not up to date on her shots.

I told you that our cat is strictly an indoor cat. She has never tried to go outside. She is not in the least interested in outside. Outside is a truly frightening concept for her.

And here is where you climbed to the mountaintop with your clay tablets and delivered your sermon from on high.

My beliefs are horribly wrong. I am so misinformed that I give a new definition to the word "ignorant". I was even told about a member of the board of your shelter who had 8 cats and didn't vaccinate them and they got distemper and now they are living at the shelter.

Waaah?

You let a person with 8 cats that sound as if they were surrendered because they were sick, serve on your board?

Yet, Josephine Schmo comes in off the street with one cat who is not vaccinated and two dogs that go outside all the time and are totally up to date on their shots, and I can't adopt a pet. Could I instead serve on your board of directors?

Well, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. The experience as been completely transcendent. From the stench when I entered your establishment to the trail of urine I was tracking after walking through your pet area, I was totally captivated. I also really appreciated the fact that your socially stunted volunteer was quite insistent that my daughter not change the cat's name if she were to adopt it because "I named her that name and she likes it".

And someday, that volunteer will die alone in her trailer surrounded by the twenty seven cats that she has adopted from work and they will proceed to eat her face down to the bone.

I'm just sayin'.

Now, we will proceed to visit Cloquet. My daughter has only asked for one thing out of all of this horribleness. She wants a big fat cat to snuggle with.

Sounds pretty fishy to me...