Thursday, March 05, 2009

I ain't No Elizabeth Edwards

Seriously, can we talk?

Can we discuss the concept of infidelity? And I don't mean infidelity followed up by a dose of pedophilia. Please forgive my life, it has a tendency to be all mushed together like your Aunt Eileen's Spam Loaf on a fourth fo July picnic.

I'm just talking about sticking your proverbial junk in someone who you shouldn't be sticking your junk.

Or to be perfectly fair, receiving said junk.

And to be all inclusive, yes, cheating also consists of the sticking of ones junk/receiving of ones junk via the many electronic media out there. My theory is, people who cheat via the internet and/or four hour cell phone calls only lack proximity. If the object of their junkification was standing in front of them, much merriment would ensue.

Life is very complicated. Marriages break down. My marriage broke down a long time ago. I knew this when my kids were small. It took until recently to start making my escape plan. I was sketching out my roadmap to freedom when the wheels fell off the wagon.

Perhaps my STBX figured this out. Perhaps he realized that I was so incredibly sick of his shit that instead of getting angry that he was a negative, overweight, overbearing bastard, I simply decided not to give it anymore of my energy. I was sick of him. I was taking care of myself and my kids, and he no longer had anyone to complain to, to play the victim for, or to harrange. He was a non-entity.

So he found a twenty-something with mental health issues and a six year old daughter. Everything that he needed. Someone who didn't know his game. Someone that he could try to reinvent himself with. Someone that spent an equal amount of time online and wouldn't feel like they were dealing with an emotionally immature idiot.

So, the question I ponder here is this: Is she innocent? Is she a victim because she's got a history of mental health issues? She's still hanging with him and had the gall to email me to tell me what a great mother she is. To quote the best cowboy movie ever "she just can't quit him".

This whole situation has made me feel like I'm surrounded by crazy people. My STBX can molest his daughter and try to come off as the victim, his fuck puppet girlfriend can try to convince herself that she's a good mother because she would never let her daughter near her new boyfriend, and her husband still wants her back.

Did I mention that this is the second time she's cheated on her husband?

As I said, marriages break down. It's the strong couple that can face each other and say "we either need to fix this or we need to split." I knew there was no fixing my marriage because my STBX will never change. That is the saddest and most ironic part of his fuck puppet's story. She thinks that he will change. She thinks that she has some magical thing that will turn his life around. She just can't realize that she is mearly a hunk of meat heading for the grinder.

And people who are prone to cheating DON'T CHANGE.

If it's in your psyche that it is permissible to cheat on a spouse, changing your spouse won't change that part of their personality. One day, they will get bored, angry, depressed, whatever. Then, they will cheat again.

If you appreciate being a doormat, stick around. You'll have your chance again.

This is me. Not being a doormat.


Anonymous said...

If we are talking "thinking" in relation to the person who has physically bonded with your husband, then we are talking in terms of sheep mentality, sleepwalking through the day, and what goes in just rolls around inside and makes sounds that mark an area of wasted space as occupied.

If we are talking "thinking" in terms of Debbie, then we have a layered, deep, multi-faceted thought processor who is actually doing justice to "thinking".

To compare you, Debbie, to "the other woman" is to compare Lake Superior to a very wet pothole on one our many side streets (as opposed to the main treks).

Doormat? Doormats no longer say just "Welcome". (try the site for some ideas) Look how much you have grown and evolved over the past year alone!

Hope you've had yourselves detailed by a great OB/Gyn since opening your eyes to the disaster aka STBX. Take care of yourselves first, then anything else can take care of itself by itself. If you get my drift...

Hang in there! (And smile! It's what animals do in the wild before they attack their prey. They show their teeth.)

wonderdog said...

Pretty much off-topic, maybe more on the make-up and pedicure side, even trying to look crabby in these shots, you are looking very good, so I'd say that's an overall plus (something that's yours, that you did, that can't be taken away)

Anonymous said...

are you going to be a victim for ever or are you going to move on it happened to your girl not you get off the poor me act

Debbie said...

Hey there anonymous! Way to be all brave and snark at me from behind a curtain!

FYI#1: You commented on this post in August. I wrote this post in March.

FYI#2: This post is about infidelity, not pedophilia. In case you're retarded, the infidelity DID happen to me NOT my daughter.

FYI#3: Since you seem to be incapable of understanding what you're reading, this entry is about NOT being a doormat. This entry is about realizing when people are shit heads and moving on.

Got it shit head?
Now, I think I'll be moving on...