Sunday, March 29, 2009

What I Prefer To Do and What I Have To Do

A lot of legal machinations have been grinding away since I now have an initial court date for divorce "negotiations" on Tuesday. For awhile I was concerned about not getting my new lawyer in place before the date on Tuesday but everything is set to go now.

STBX's lawyer called me when he found out that I fired my lawyer and asked if I was representing myself or what. Since I had the first lawyer finally file the case (after how many months???)it automatically triggers an "Early Neutral Evaluation" meeting where everyone gets to sit around a table and see if divorce court can be avoided.

He asked me if I would prefer to not have to sit in the same room as STBX. I said yes, that is what I would prefer.

I then hung up the phone and went "Ohhhhh! I'll bet he was wondering if I was planning on halting the ENE on Tuesday!"

Yeah, not the brightest bulb around.

Oh well, I'll be there. My lawyer will be there. And the Pedophile and his lawyer will be there as well.

Not because I prefer to, but because I have to.

Telling two lawyers to work it out without someone placing a time frame on it doesn't work. I can't imagine that they would be too motivated to get things done in a timely manner as I'm sure they milk things for more money everyday.

It also occurred to me that I am only looking at this from my perspective. I don't want to have to face the man that cheated on me and molested my daughter. But guess what? I'm thinking he really doesn't want to go to court either because he has yet to be "named" for what he is. His criminal lawyer made sure that the judge was interrupted before he could read out the charges. His divorce lawyer and my divorce lawyer have coddled his ass for months. Keeping it quiet has done nothing but allow him to fuck his girlfriend and not pay child support.

I would prefer not to go on Tuesday.
But I have to.

It's time to put on my big girl panties and point a finger at him and say "No."


Shelly said...

You know...this all reminds me of, well, slaying a vampire (and not the Twilight kind, but, actual vampires which we know to exist in society--the predators). You have to go to some dark places to root them out, and, it sucks, and it is difficult, which is why most people don't want to do it. The strength and determination required to pull it off is astronomical, and so, since I know that you have the determination thing all wrapped up, I'm sending a little extra strength your way, in hopes that it will help you get through this. It's shitty, and ugly, and....if you didn't do it, he'd just keep feeding off of people, so it is important. If you need anything, just drop me a line. After this is all said and done, I hope we can get together for that well-earned cold beer.

Debbie said...

I will definately let you know when I'll be down in the cities! I know we'll be there for Convergence at the beginning of July, along with a LOT of other nerds. A cold beverage might be just the ticket to take the edge off all that BO.

Shelly said...

HA! One of my best friends works at Brown College in the career department for the Game Design program. We decided that she should make up little "gift bags" for her students with little soaps and deodorants. Or perhaps just keep a gigantic bowl of these items on her desk, so they can take what they need (whether they realize that they need it or not) before she sends them out into the world of job interviews.

JB aka JayBee said...

I like that, "big girl panties." I can't wait to read about what happens next.

-JB writing from the future.