I'm home sick today but yet I've had to run errands. Since I had to go downtown anyway this morning, I finally said "fuck it" and took our paperwork to the courthouse to get our names changed.
My name change would have been a part of the divorce but not the kids so since it would have been the same charge for just me or for all of us, I decided to go ahead and get it done.
As I told my therapist today, there are so many things out of my control right now that it felt SO GOOD to be able to hand in the paperwork with a mental "FUCK YOU!" message to the universe in general and to STBX in particular.
The kids have been asking for awhile when they could start using their new last name and we have all been using it for everything that wasn't "official" but actually getting the ball rolling was the tinniest of victories that I needed.
The rest of the world can burn now. I've come to a few conclusions about what I will do in certain scenarios that may happen in the future and it's given me enough peace of mind to be able to go forward with sanity, for a few more days at least!
Yup. One day at a time.