Wednesday, April 01, 2009

What a Handy Man!

Perhaps, just perhaps, my favorite man in the universe (the one who is competently putting Humpty Dumpty House back together again)will actually get to a point today or tomorrow where he can start on the actual wall plastering.

That is, after he reinforces the rotted beams in the basement today which he was able to grab with his hand and tear a chunk off. This was right below the area where a fire appeared to happen. Looks like they put it out with a bunch of water which rotted the beams in the floor. Had he messed with rebuilding the inside of that wall without proper support on the floor, we might have had a white trash elevator in our dining room.

Then he will proceed to finish up the ceiling and finish work for various doorways that stbx took apart and never put back together.

There will come a point in time when I have to make a decision on trim work. I just want to place my hand on his shoulder and say "I trust your judgment to make it nice but keep it cheap." It's sort of like being hungover in college and your roommate is training for a marathon and drinking carrot juice and she keeps asking you in this chipper voice "Why don't you just get out of bed and join me for a short ten mile run. I KNOW it will make you feel better!!!"

PLEASE DEAR GOD I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME PUTTING ON MY SOCKS LET ALONE DECIDING WHICH TRIM OUT OF A SELECTION OF FORTY-THREE MILLION!!! AND COLORS??? DEAR SWEET JESUS THERE IS A REASON I'M PAINTING THIS ROOM WHITE!!! IT MAKES COLOR CHOICE REALLY FRIGGIN' EASY!!!!

After a day with lawyers, judges, victim advocates, and therapists, Martha Stewart just might send me on an inner state shooting spree. No Martha, my life isn't perfect. No Martha, my bath towels don't match. No Martha, I don't measure my self worth by color coding my sock drawer.

Thankfully, my handy man is learning that when I get that "Helter Skelter" look in my eyes, it's best to just smile and say "I'll find something for you...as a matter of fact, I might have something in my garage at home. I'll get you all squared away. Don't worry."

If he has fixed nothing else, he has repaired my belief that every once in awhile, your handy man also has your back.

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