Sunday, May 03, 2009

Burn Baby Burn

Divorce hearing WON'T be this Tuesday. My lawyer has to be out of town so now everything gets pushed back to some time in June.

My hopes of being divorced by Father's Day just flew out the window.

So now I have to think about where I'm going to get the craft supplies to make a life sized wicker man for father's day (note lower case). If we're still going to be legally connected to the asshole, we can at least burn him in effigy.

Can you just imagine a pseudo-burning man celebration in Lakeside Duluth? That would be PERFECT! I'm sure the city council would approve it, so long as we brought our own tents, acid, and gasoline (the holy trinity of any REAL celebration). The only problem is all the elderly neighbors stripping off their clothes and running naked down Pitt Street after they were explicitly told NOT TO TAKE THE YELLOW BLOTTER ACID. Once the old folks get naked, it has a tendency to drive any young folks away. It's the ultimate in shock value.

Next Sunday will be a combined celebration for mother's day (note lower case) and son's birthday. A picnic in the back yard with a fire and smores...lots of smores. I actually have a huge bag of wood, taken from the inside of my walls during renovation, that would be perfect fire pit material. This will be the first time using our fire pit since we burned all of our family photos which contained STBX along with any other flammable annoying artifact of his that we could throw on the fire. The heat actually warped the metal cage of the fire pit so it now looks like it is permanently melting. It was very therapeutic though and we all were able to choose things that we wanted to burn.

Mental health through arson...

Hey, isn't that what burning a wicker man is all about?


Anonymous said...

Please don't waste the good wicker - even in effigy!

Smudge the home with sage, pass around the Bazooka bubble gum to the dogs, invite all the old folks on Pitt Street to a BBQ in your backyard. Hell, make it a BYB (bring yerown barbecue), balloons, bees, beer...whatever! Tell/share some good stories, talk about the spring planting,anything but the STBX.

Death by omission.

Rot on.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a WONDERFUL idea! It will be the most fun Lakeside has had in years. I would be willing to supply the hot dogs and smore fixins.