After going out for a pre-dawn run this morning, I returned home and checked in on the blog and got a very interesting comment. One that made me go "Oh baby, HELL NO!" and I deleted it.
Now I regret deleting it. Because other people's mental health disorders can be such a source of interest and debate.
I am, apparently all of the following:
1. A promoter of an incestuous household
2. A horrible woman for putting STBX's name on the internet
3. Totally misunderstanding that pedophiles DO NOT OFFEND WITHIN THE FAMILY
4. Totally misunderstanding that incest is a disease and CAN BE CURED.
5. A whiner that can't get over the fact that her husband had an affair and is just playing the victim.
6. Misunderstanding of the facts that nearly EVERY marriage contains infidelity.
7. A horrible woman with a blog named after a porn movie that blogs about pedophiles.
8. Foul mouthed.
9. Hippie trailer trash.
Now, this is indeed bait and I debated whether to rise to it. Or should I say, be dragged down by it.
But calling me foul mouthed hippie trailer trash? Now that hurt...
Since there are people reading this blog that have never read it before and are sane enough not to go back to its origins allow me to state a couple facts:
This blog started out as a knitting/crafting blog many years ago. Back then, for some strange reason, I never thought I would be discussing pedophiles. The name comes from the irony of blogging about something as mundane as crafting...now keep up, I realize that might be a hard concept to grasp...
This blog is now my attempt to stay sane in an insane situation. I am so NOT a victim. Calling my statement that I will read in court a "victim impact statement" gets under my skin. The fact that I refuse to be seen as a victim has actually impeded my ability to come to terms with the ugliness that was my marriage. I will not be seen as a victim.
I was married to a man for 17 years that never saw himself as anything BUT a victim. This has been his free pass to do anything and everything and blame it on everyone else.
THAT is why I hate the concept of "victim".
Addressing the idea that I am pissed off that my husband had an affair...you have got to be kidding! I am pissed off that my husband hooked up with a woman with a young daughter...he can hook up with any crazy bitch he wants to but I am sick and tired of the maternal guilt I feel regarding what he did to my daughter and my blindness and ignorance to the situation. I refuse to allow him to hurt another child.
Which leads to the notion that pedophiles don't offend in their own families. Sorry sweetie...I suggest you talk to some professionals about that fact. Perhaps three of the social workers that I've been working with? Or the many police officers? Or the posse of therapists?
Which leads to the next point of fact, stating STBX's name here isn't the first place that it has appeared in public regarding his indiscretions. FYI: Once you stand up in court and state "guilty" after a laundry list of abuses are read allowed, whining because someone called you out for what you are is probably the least of your worries.
Which takes us to the idea that I promoted an incestuous household. This means what? Are you envisioning porn tapes mixed in with Barney and Sesame Street in our entertainment center? Are you imagining me saying "Not tonight dear, I have a headache, how about you go fuck your daughter instead."
Tracy C. Shaddox was/is a pedophile. Not just incestuous. He gets turned on by children. How do I know this? Because the professionals in charge of this nightmare have told me so. Because they have informed me that I need to make sure he hasn't abused my son as well. Or any other young relatives.
Wanna know what a easy conversation THAT is to have with your loved ones?
I believe this should be the time to mention that incest is a disease and can be cured. Any kind of sexual deviancy can be called a disease. Might I point out the hard cold facts of the rates of recidivism for pedophiles? Maybe you'd like to put STBX in charge of your daycare facility or better yet, let him babysit your children, but frankly I think it would be a bit of a bad idea.
The next thing that was discussed was the fact that nearly every marriage has infidelity. That certainly comes from a person who is chronically unfaithful in their marriage.
We can ALL justify ANYTHING by saying EVERYONE DOES IT.
I refute that line of bullshit.
But I also don't plan on getting married again either...I'm not stupid twice.
Lastly, I come to the fact that I am hippie foul mouthed trailer trash.