There's nothing like having rabid squirrels eating your lower spine.
They were quite active from the moment that I got up this morning and when it came time to open the garage door this morning, I paused, did a leaning face plant against the door, and wondered what I would do if I couldn't bend over and open the door. Can I call into work? Can I say that my car is trapped?
Was that ever covered in my employee orientation?
Alas, I was able to open the door and thus, will not be able to test the system. Maybe next time.
Yesterday afternoon consisted of me, talking to my therapist about the sentencing. She agreed with my brilliant deduction that losing my shit at the courthouse on the day of the name change was not the best strategy. She also told me to get ready for any and every awful possibility that may occur on the day of the sentencing.
Perhaps his girlfriend will show up.
Perhaps she'll even bring her daughter!
Perhaps his family from Colorado will show up.
Perhaps a militant F.O.P (Friends of Pedophiles) group will show up at the courthouse and fill all the seats with people who think it is just fine and dandy to touch small children. (I made up the F.O.P thing but I GUARANTEE something like that exists SOMEWHERE. It is not a web search I am willing to do.)
Perhaps he will stand up in court and cry those crocodile tears and whine about being sorry and say that HE is the victim and that it's all just sooooo sad but he wants to do the right thing.
Perhaps there will be a "get out of jail free" card sitting on the table when he sits down in court.
Perhaps climate change will take a drastic turn for the worst and the ice sheets will melt in the next eight days and Duluth will be inundated with water and we will all go down together.
There's always that random meteor strike.
Unfortunately, random meteor strikes are just so, random. I'm thinking that the most plausible irritant will be the boo-hoo speech.
The thing is, it's all just legal theater. Forgive me for being either ignorant or retarded (both are equally possible) but before all this shit hit the fan, I never had a second thought about the justice/injustice system. It was like the sky and the sun and the clouds. It was just there and occasionally I looked around when something occurred in the news but frankly, I just didn't get it. I didn't understand that honesty, goodness, right and wrong, everything is dependant upon how much money you have and how good at bullshitting your lawyer is. Oh, and whether or not the judge is suffering from a case of raging hemorrhoids on the morning of your court date.
And yes, I am being extremely flippant and yes, that isn't fair to all of the amazing people that work in the system everyday and actually do a great job and treat people with respect and want to do the right thing. They do exist. I have met them. I have, in fact, met at least five of them.
But I'm tired and I want the next eight days to be over with.
And I would be sad if the ice sheets melt.
Polar bears rock.