Thursday, July 16, 2009

I'm Being Held Prisoner - Call The ASPCA

I will be your blogmaster for the day. My name is Murdoc.

I may look all fluffy and adorable, but get over it. I have thoughts. Deep thoughts. Much more than the "other" animal around here that has hijacked this blog.

I am an ambiguously gay cat from the Cloquet Animal Shelter.

Do you know how hard it is to be ambiguously gay? I'm so much more than a boy cat in a pink collar. I am softness and fluff and angst. Beware of my carefully manicured claws. They are sharp.

The powers that be want to keep me quiet. That's what the readers of this blog don't realize. You think these are the ramblings of a hippie tree hugging granola cruncher but she is not the one who is really in charge here.

There are dark forces at work here. Dark forces that edit content and stifle creativity.

I think we all know who I'm referring to.

Currently. my female human is getting ready for work right now. She has a 12 hour day ahead of her and by the time she gets home, she will be useless to me. I will sit on her lap and stare at her for an hour but do you think she has the common sense to understand what I'm telling her? The woman is an idiot and frankly, I think it's time you realized this.

You come here for entertainment, but I have to LIVE here. You want to know how awful things are?

She actually will groom the dogs BEFORE she grooms me!

Like I said, it borders on pet abuse. I have the ASPCA on speed dial.

See this window? I OWN this window. It is MINE!

Would you believe this woman has an ISSUE with me climbing the screen?

I mean, really????

Why is there a screen on the window if you can't climb it? It exists for my own personal amusement, right? Just like all humans.

The female human is running around, getting paperwork ready for the younger female human to go to school far away. This puts a crimp in my life people! The younger female human is the one who pets me most. She is the one who GETS IT.

This whole "going away to school" plan was not run by me first and frankly, I am not amused.


Anne said...

I have always said that the cats let us live with them. We humans are definitely not in charge of them. Very funny!

Bad Cat! said...

That is the cutest kitteh ever! (but don't tell him I called him "cute" - it may interfere with his plans for global dominance.)