Making That Yarn Sing

Alas, poor yarn ball, I knew him well...

Hey, what is this crap? Knitting???

Who put knitting in my pedophilia blog???

(off stage voice) Hey, who put pedophilia in my knitting blog???

(voice from audience) Hey, who put knitting and pedophilia into my Corgi blog?

(Voice from stage right) Hey, who put knitting, pedophilia and Corgis into my divorce blog?

Everyone, except last speaker: OH SHUT UP!

Hey, it's "Blogopera", a work in progress.

Speaking of works in progress, (and schmoozy segues), I am down to the sleeves on my latest sweater.

It's entirely knit in k1p1 rib and is extremely stretchy. When I don't have it on, it looks like it would fit a pregnant python. I've had a couple seasoned knitters look at the body as I was knitting it and ask, diplomatically of course, "So, what part of the sweater is that for?"

This is why I got so cranky at the yarn store lady when she tried to tell me I needed more yarn. I do not need more yarn when I am knitting mumus for pregnant pythons!

This is my design, knit to fit my measurements. I created it in response to not being able to find a single well fitting sweater in any of the patterns at my local yarn store. This winter, I purchased two sweaters from JC Pennys that I love with a passion not meant for knitted goods. They look like mumus for pregnant pythons until you put them on. Then, THEY ROCK!

So, I had to take a couple pictures of my soon-to-be-finished (STBF?) sweater, complete with the oh so trendy double pointed needles at the armpit. Double pointed needles will no doubt be a hit at the next fashion shows in Paris.

I have also decided that I will create some euphemisms for my lack of chestage, demonstrated by the fact that I can wear a mumu for a pregnant python:

1. I'm aerodynamic. Ride my slipstream.

2. I'm camouflaged to blend into Home Depot's wallboard department.

3. I'm halfway through my sex reassignment surgeries (probably not the greatest line to utter at a straight bar...then again...)

4. I'm so absent minded, I'd lose my boobs if they weren't attached..uh oh.