Allow Me To Introduce Myself...My Name Is Jane Doe

No, I'm not trying to pull a fast one.

No, I'm not trying to forge checks or use someone else's credit card.

I'm just trying to establish the new me.

As I've been working out the whole new name gig, I have been throwing my new last name in as a hyphenate while I still endure my old last name. Sort of like taking the last place pig at the county fair and putting half a tube of lipstick on it.

See, now it's ALLLLLLLL Pretty!

Except for the fact that hyphenated names annoy me.

And when I have to call someone, I invariably lose the strength in my voice once I get passed the first (legal) part. I end up sounding like some little kid that knows she's done wrong and is trying to be honest but also, trying to hide the fact that she's done wrong.

Then there are the people that know me as Christina and not Tina. Guess what I do when I answer the phone? The reflexes of decades kick in and I say "This is Tina". Funnily enough, there are a lot of people out there that can't seem to find the connection between the name Christina and Tina. If your name is Christina, you can't possible go by the name Tina, why, that would be CRAZY!

So I have people say "oh hello Tina, can I talk to Christina?" and then I have to pretend to laugh and act like I don't want to say "listen chuckles, you called the right number and the right extension and funnily enough, you got the right person."

I chose a name similar to my current name for the sake of my friends. I wanted it to be an easy choice to CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT. Christina will answer to Tina and last time I checked, Tina was ok with being Christina. It's the last name that I won't compromise on.

If I had realized that there would be these weird issues anyway, I would have gone with something far more interesting. Perhaps Penelope J. Vandersnatch?

Or as my daughter stated during this whole ridiculous name change head game by STBX: "Just call me mailbox".