Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I GOT DOTS!

Dots of a life:

* The bathroom window that was painted shut for fifteen years is now open. And now that the weather is cold, I can't get it shut.

* The bathroom carpet is pulled halfway up. Never put carpet in your bathroom. Carpet around your toilet is a BAD IDEA.

* Thankfully I have dogs that are so surprised when they wiggle out of their collars that they freeze and stare at me. No William Wallace acts of "FREEDOM!" while shaking their paws to the sky.

* I am addicted to the honey from the Wednesday Farmer's Market. The Walter's Family are unaware that they are my dealers. I am a honey connoisseur and their honey is amazing. And I'm guessing that, as an addiction, it's cheaper and healthier than meth. Hey, at least I get to keep my teeth.

* I am planning on going to Bayfield Applefest next weekend with friends. I haven't been to it since my son was about three. I'm guessing that apples are still involved?

* I am already freezing my ass off and it's not even October. I am going to inject wool directly into my veins.

* I discovered that the special slacks I bought for the sentencing and wore to the divorce paper signing were shredded when I was dragged by my friend's dog. I did love those pants but realistically, the pooch did me a favor. Now I won't say things like "Hey, I want to look nice so I think I'll wear the sentencing slacks!"

* The sales lady at the store where I bought said 'sentencing slacks' didn't get my humor when I went to replace the slacks and asked how durable the new pair were. "Can they stand up to being dragged by a large mammal?" I'm guessing that she hasn't been asked that before.

* I now have a kicky outfit in case I'm looking to do great things, like interview for a job or take over a small Central American country. Hey Nicaragua, I'm looking right at you!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Take a bar of soap vigorously rub the inside of the track. Get a rubber mallet - not too big - lightly tap each side. One then the other and so forth. This should help unstick said window! Good Luck.
As far as the pants go, you could refer to the new ones and the replacement sentencing pants ;o}
Tabatha

Nutty Knitter said...

Cut the pants into strips and knit something with them....like a mat for the front door or around the toilet. Then they can be walked or peed on. Sort of fitting.

I laughed my butt of when I read the part about injecting wool into your veins. Permission to use that one. Super funny!

JB aka JayBee said...

What do you have against Honduras?

Debbie said...

Hmmmm. Perhaps I could consider both??

Anonymous said...

Sentencing slacks and corgi fists to the sky, LMAO!