Satan's Little Helper here...
Just back from a night of shenanigans.
It's really strange but no matter how many times I go to The Main, the boys just don't seem interested...
What am I doing wrong????
Also, I believe I have fractured my right boob. Is that a possibility?
I can just see it now...an episode of 60 Minutes with that damn clock ticking in the background and the voice of authority in the foreground:
"Every year, 8 million American women fracture their boobs but yet go undiagnosed due to our ever increasing health care debacle."
Yeah, it was another unfortunate incident with the claw foot bath tub. As I was draped over the tub, painting with the roller brush, I felt a most distressing tearing sensation in my right boob.
Perhaps it's not broken. Maybe it's just sprained.
Should I elevate it to prevent swelling? Or should I thank god that finally, a part of my body is swelling that the prevailing culture in this country can appreciate?
All I know is that it makes moving my right arm difficult, As a matter of fact, I had to use both hands to elevate my drinks to my poor dehydrated lips as we went to the bars.
We managed to avoid any real crowds although we did see a couple of walking beer cans with pull tab hats and when we got to The Main, I MET JESUS!
Funny thing, I asked him to lay his hands on my boob and heal me but he was far more interested in the bald man with the tiny panties.
Frankly, if you can't get a rise out of Jesus, I think you're screwed.