I realize that I have reached that time in everyone's life when the aging thing sneaks up on you.
Somewhere between 39 and 43, it seems to hit you, right between the eyes. And below the eyes. And on your skin. And in your hair.
I've stopped coloring my hair because it takes time and money. I've had one spot of gray in my hair for at least the last ten years. It's my skunk spot. My "oh, did you bump some paint?" spot. It's my soul patch.
I've often wondered how I will age. I see the women that get wrinkles in the corners of their eyes and the corners of their mouth and you know that they have decades of a sunny disposition behind them.
Then there are the women who have their eyes sink in a little and their head becomes a little skullier (definition: looks like a skull. It has nothing to do with the X-Files.). They are usually the skinny women that you hope never get stuck in a windstorm.
Then there are the women who seem to wear a map on their face. They have wrinkles everywhere and there is no rhyme or reason to it. It might be a map of the London Underground, it might be a map to the buried treasure that is their soul. They are often photographed looking off in the distance. Everyone knows they have a story to tell and very few people take the time to slow down and listen.
Those are just the faces...it was about six months ago that I first noticed that someone had snuck into my house in the middle of the night and replaced my hands with the hands of an old woman. The skin is a little papery, it will tent for a moment when you pinch it and OH MY GOD IS THAT A LIVERSPOT?????
Then it was the eyes. My eyes have aged five decades over the past year. Not just around my eyes but my actual eyes. They seem to be verrrrrry tired.
Last week? The gray hair at the temples.
This week? The road map that is my face.
Yup. I'm becoming one of those village Shaman-type women who looks across the plain and everyone who doesn't know her thinks she looks so wise.
The reality of the situation? She's just thinking REALLY REALLY HARD because she can't remember where she left her damn car keys.
There is absolutely nothing magical about it.