There Will Be Roast Beast

For awhile, my version of Thanksgiving was going to be bowls of cereal while watching tv in our footie pj's.

Completely low maintenance.

Then I decided to splurge on a chicken from the Farmer's Market. Roasted paprika chicken with Parmesan potato rounds is always a favorite.

And the boy asked for pie. It is the ONLY time of year when the boy wants pie.

Little did he know, I am a former test pilot for Sara Lee.

Sara Lee pumpkin pie it is. For him and only him.

Then I realized how much I enjoy cranberry orange relish. I wish I could buy 40 individual cranberries because I am the only one who will eat it.

Me. Only me.

That's a lot of relish.

After going to the farmers market and grocery store, I ducked into the bottle shop because I wanted to treat myself to a bottle of wine for the mini festivities.

The best thing that the booze emporium does is to have a dude standing there behind the mobile mini bar with open bottles of wine.

One of my favorite indulgences is to flip on the radio early in the morning on the weekend and listen to The Splendid Table. I will listen to the wine guy and I will make a groggy note on his "cheap but good" picks and then I will go to the booze emporium and stand bewildered.

I will then pick out the wine with the most entertaining label or the funniest name cuz who has the brain space to remember all that expert advice shit?

That is why I love the wine dude at the booze emporium. I can give him my robotic answers and he will let me taste the wine of the day.

One of these days I will just go through the whole line and do shooters of wine and then leave without buying anything. Kind of like visiting my expensive perfume.

But not this time. He asked all the right questions to determine that yes, I was trailer trash with a very unrefined palate and I would be totally happy with purple kool aid spiked with vodka.

He then let me sample my sweet fruity wine.

I agreed that it was delicious and said "GIMME A BOTTLE".

He then paused and asked if I would be offended by the name

He quickly flashed me the label.

"Damn son!" I informed him. "That's what I get called on a good day!"

The bottle was for Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, the bottle is now gone.

Thankfully, I did realize that a bottle of wine does not have to be considered "single serving size".

That's why it took me two whole nights to finish it.

Now I need to figure out what to drink with my chicken on Thanksgiving Day.

Got any purple kool aid and vodka?