Monday, December 14, 2009

360 Days of Fun Fun Fun!

We're heading into the anniversary weekend. The one year anniversary of when the shit hit the fan.

In retrospect, it feels like a horrible Dr. Seuss book that never quite got published: "Oh What A Year You've Had!"

Complete with Trompsnuzzles and Wangdoodles and they all either end up going to prison or to the poorhouse.

Yeah, we'll call that Dr. Seuss's blue period.

All I can say is that I've never had a more life altering year. For someone stuck in a horrible rut, this last year has been dynamite.

It makes me wonder if people in prison actually wake up in their cell with thoughts such as "Hey, ten years ago, I killed my next door neighbor with an ax! How 'bout cake???"

Do anniversaries count when you're in prison? And if so, what is the typical Miss Manners gift agenda for prison? Does it follow traditional guide for the folks on the "outside"?

1st WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Paper

Prison Anniversary Gift: Toilet Paper

2nd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Cotton

Prison Anniversary Gift: Cotton Balls

3rd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Leather

Prison Anniversary Gifts: Bondage Leather (also known as "shower accessories")

4th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Flowers

Prison Anniversary Gift: Marijuana (Prisoners are known for suffering from open angle glaucoma)

5th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Wood

Prison Anniversary Gift: It's the gift that keeps on giving, just ask your cell mate.


2 comments:

superiorfan said...

I think you should celebrate this weekend as your own personal/family independence day. Fireworks are always good. You can even come up with a slogan similar to "no taxation without representation". Not sure what word to replace taxation with. I'm sure you could come up with something.

Anonymous said...

Loving those prison anniversary gifts! Keep on rockin' Tina! Peace and Merryment to you and yours this first Christmas for your new family!
Tabatha (friend in Folsom)