In retrospect, it feels like a horrible Dr. Seuss book that never quite got published: "Oh What A Year You've Had!"
Complete with Trompsnuzzles and Wangdoodles and they all either end up going to prison or to the poorhouse.
Yeah, we'll call that Dr. Seuss's blue period.
All I can say is that I've never had a more life altering year. For someone stuck in a horrible rut, this last year has been dynamite.
It makes me wonder if people in prison actually wake up in their cell with thoughts such as "Hey, ten years ago, I killed my next door neighbor with an ax! How 'bout cake???"
Do anniversaries count when you're in prison? And if so, what is the typical Miss Manners gift agenda for prison? Does it follow traditional guide for the folks on the "outside"?
1st WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Paper
Prison Anniversary Gift: Toilet Paper
2nd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Cotton
Prison Anniversary Gift: Cotton Balls
3rd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Leather
Prison Anniversary Gifts: Bondage Leather (also known as "shower accessories")
4th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Flowers
Prison Anniversary Gift: Marijuana (Prisoners are known for suffering from open angle glaucoma)
5th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Wood
Prison Anniversary Gift: It's the gift that keeps on giving, just ask your cell mate.
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2 comments:
I think you should celebrate this weekend as your own personal/family independence day. Fireworks are always good. You can even come up with a slogan similar to "no taxation without representation". Not sure what word to replace taxation with. I'm sure you could come up with something.
Loving those prison anniversary gifts! Keep on rockin' Tina! Peace and Merryment to you and yours this first Christmas for your new family!
Tabatha (friend in Folsom)
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