Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Mysterious Case of the Phantom Crapper

-Cut to a Victorian sitting room. It is cluttered with the detritus of two gentlemen with many interests. Amidst the disorder, we see a violin, books on many topics regarding the burgeoning field of criminology, and newspapers of the day-

"It's most perplexing, Holmes. The room was shut."

"Shut, my dear Watson. Shut but not locked."

The man called Watson spluttered for a moment."Surely Holmes, you're not suggesting that a dog and a cat, both small in stature and without opposable thumbs, managed to turn the knob and open the door in question?"

Holmes drew on his pipe and expelled a thin stream of smoke.

"The owner of the cat and dog in question insists that the door was closed?"

Watson nodded.

"She entered the water closet this very morning, opening the closed door, only to discover the mess in question?"

"Indeed Holmes. She discovered the rug soaked in urine and, how to say it delicately? Slathered in shit?"

"Well my friend," Holmes responded after a full minute had passed. "It is quite a three pipe problem."

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