Most Embarrassing Moment

I don't know what brought this to the front of my cerebral cortex but I was just remembering fondly my boyfriend in high school. I often wonder how he's doing and contemplate just how bat-shit insane his mother was.

Anyway, I remember one time when we went down to a Detroit Tiger's game and of course this was a big deal for me. He had a passing interest in baseball but I was a stone cold baseball freak. (I even wrote and published a book on the Detroit Tiger's 1984 season...Yeah, I was an ambitious kid. Unfortunately, I fizzled pretty quickly.) I loved prowling Tiger Stadium (alas, no longer there...) and I was looking forward to bringing my sweetie to my favorite place.

So, on our way to our seats, I had to use the bathroom. Sweet Boy waited for me at the beginning of the hallway that led to the women's bathroom. I went to the john and when I emerged from the hallway, I saw him standing there, leaning on the wall, looking away from me. We were at the beginning phase of our relationship, when you're just learning each other's quirks and tolerances for public affection and I decided to get me a little ass grabbin' on the sly.

Yeah, you probably are guessing where this is going. I grabbed his butt, gave it a playful squeeze, and he turned around in surprise. Well, of course he was surprised, it was some strange guy and he obviously wasn't expecting any ass grabbin'.

I was completly flustered. I think both of my hands went up to my face and all I could do was cry "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!"

The worst part of all? The smirk on my boyfriend's face. He had walked a few feet away and saw the whole thing. Needless to say, there was no more ass grabbin' on that day.