There is a preternatural calm about me today. I have not felt this much at ease, centered, or relaxed since December 19th.
I knew I wanted a tattoo. I knew that I was determined to focus my mind on all of the crap in my life as I was getting it. I knew that, as I was being carved up like a thanksgiving turkey, I would visualize all the negative energy escaping through the wounds in my skin. I wanted this to be more than just a tattoo. I wanted it to be a ritual scarification.
My mind is now clear. The anger that was burning me to ashes is no longer in the center of my soul. It’s a bright red flame that I can now carry in my hands. I can hold it when I need to. I can place it on the ground when it gets too hot. I can walk away when it becomes too much. I can warm my hands with its heat without becoming consumed.
I am now in control of it.
I am so happy that I chose this illustration to carry with me for the rest of my life. I just met up with our PAVSA advocate and I told her I wanted to show her my tattoo. As I explained it, before showing her my back, she got a brilliant smile on her face. I showed her my back and then she turned around and showed me hers.
She has many illustrations from Alice in Wonderland all over her back. From the Cheshire Cat in the forest to the Queen of Heart’s castle and many things in between.
Life is such an interesting journey.