That is how long it has been since I decided to change my life through diet and exercise.
Who knew it would also consist of divorce and incarceration as well.
As I look back at the post on May 30th, 2008, all I can think of is WHO THE HELL IS THAT PERSON???
Well, not completely, it's just that whole hind sight thing. If I must be totally honest with myself, our trip to Toronto was a big eye opener on the marriage front as well. When you go on a family vacation and your husband chooses to stay in the hotel room for 99% of the time while you go out and explore the city with the kids, there is something wrong. The ONLY time we went out as a couple was when I took him to a pub that I had found online because he liked good beer and I thought he would enjoy it.
He did go out once on his own. Without any kind of a map of the city or subway and when he came back, all he did was bitch to the heavens about "this damn city!" being hard to navigate. "Did you take the subway map?" I asked. "No!" He answered as if this were THE DUMBEST QUESTION EVAH!
Getting a divorce "someday" was definitely on my agenda after that family trip. I wanted to do it in a controlled manner. I wanted to get myself prepared.
Yeah. That part? Didn't work out so well.
But, as I sit here this morning, I have to give myself credit for the past year. It's not something I do easily or well.
I lost 95 pounds of personal fat and 240 pounds of extraneous fat.
I'm physically and emotionally stronger than I've ever been.
I'm learning how to relate to members of the opposite sex in a healthy way.
I'm owning what I have done wrong.
I'm realizing what was out of my control.
I've learned, time and time again, that I have an astonishing and beautiful circle of friends. I hope I can be there for them if they need me. And I hope that they never have to go through something like this.
I've learned to accept people's kindness after years of not realizing that I never received it at home.
I have tattoos. And I like it!
I've learned to gut check myself. I've learned that the easy way out is never easy in the end.
I've learned that, even though I don't fall apart often, knowing that my friends won't be freaked out when I do, is invaluable.
I've learned that no one else in the universe can take care of me as well as I can. Bubble baths are not frivolous. They are one way of telling the world "For the next half hour, the only person that matters is me."
And then I drain the tub and get on with life.