Friday, May 08, 2009

Self Induced Domestic Assult

While out walking Thing 1 and Thing 2 this morning (or perhaps I should call them Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber), another poor soul with two dogs walked by about a quarter of a block away.

Since Kirby, the adopted dog from the Cloquet Shelter, thinks I am indeed a Goddess and I do indeed own the world (he failed to get that memo on division of responsibilities), and I of course OWN every street in Lakeside, he went APE SHIT!

From being at the end of his leash heading east, he whipped around and not only headed west, but a little northwest.

That's when my hand holding his leash landed squarely in the middle of my own gut.

Yes, I sucker punched myself this morning. Thankfully, it was on a well populated street so that I not only made an ass of myself in public, I will be famed in song and story as the "Lakeside Woman Who Took Her Own Breath Away".

Instead of being a story about a frequent shopper at Smitten Kitten, it will instead be a sad sorry tale of a woman who punches herself in the stomach and then spends five minutes holding onto a tree, gasping for breath, and checking to see if she has started to spit up blood.

Right after that, she straps on her helmet and climbs aboard the short bus.

I am so glad it's Friday.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, dog whisperer...

Perhaps using a Halti to persuade the little dominator to suppress his flight patterns?

Another trick to try is to hook both dogs together and use one leash. The submissive one acts as gravity.

If that fails, whisper louder. : )