Thursday, September 17, 2009


I probably wouldn't make a good Navy Seal. I just need to come to terms with that.

Whew! That is one big goal that I can eliminate from my list.

I am just not the queen of covert ops. I'm not even the princess of subtlety.

This morning I took the dogs for their a.m stroll at around 5:15. I am always conscious of being out way to early for some and I try my hardest to be verwy verwy qwiet. I put on my sneakiest of sneakers and I speak in a low dulcet tone to my pets that could get me a full time job with benefits on any call in sex chat line.

But...I live in canine-land. I live in the lost paradise where per capita, there are 5,000 dogs to every human. This means that all I have to do is walk silently past a house with my corgis in stealth mode and every single dog starts to bark.

There are big dogs wolfing, there are little dogs yipping, and I'm sure there are medium sized dogs doing whatever medium sized dogs do. There are owners falling out of bed swearing, there are little old ladies hushing their dogs in little old lady stern voices, and there is even an occasional cat yowl with accompanying shooting flames from the windows and random lighting strikes.

I'd like to introduce myself. I am your morning wake up call.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Every flipping morning 2 women at the butt ass crack of dawn and often earlier came walking past our house. No dogs, just those two bitches and they talk so freaking loud. Our bedroom window faces the street and in the summer we leave it open. Our dogs go ape (they don't like them either). Baby wakes up crying. So finally after 6 months of this bs I yelled out my window for them to be quiet. No I did not say it nicely. They stopped taking that route - for about a week - then back they came. So next time I decided that when they came back I had a little bit of a surprise for them - my dogs (rotties -biggest babies ever, but they don't know that) and a hose. I let them know in no uncertain terms they would be getting the hose and the dogs would be off a leash the next time they couldn't keep their big yappers shut! There are lots of dog walkers around here too and noone cares if the dogs bark at each other even if it 5 am. But those two- just wrong. So thankfully they have decided getting a hosing and mauled by 2 giant dogs is not worth taking our route anymore.
Tabatha (your friend in Folsom, but not theirs ;o} )