There are houses in my neighborhood that already have Christmas trees up.
Let me repeat that.
THERE ARE HOUSES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD THAT ALREADY HAVE CHRISTMAS TREES UP!!!!
There are lights and baby Jesus' and an all to premature feeling of peace on earth.
It's bad enough that retailers are pulling this crap. Are these neighbors trying to sell me something???
I spent yesterday painting for ten frickin' hours, painting over the stairs with a five foot pole that looked like a whale proctology tool. I then uncrimped my back and shoulders and took the dogs out for a walk and discovered that yes, unto this day a child was born. Should I ever find that I can no longer afford my house, it's obvious to me that there is a kind hearted neighbor that is willing to go the extra mile and even before the Thanksgiving turkey is carved, he will pimp out a manger and take in any chick knocked up by a deity.
Now I just need to start tarting myself up for God.
Yeah, that last sentence is a sure fire trip to hell...I'm ok with that. It's where all my friends will be!
The Christmas thing is coming man...I can sense it in the air, I can taste it on the wind, and I can hear it on the damn radio with their crazy assed carols already.
I realized yesterday that I'm playing into the whole holiday thing and I didn't even realize it. Some people lose their socks to the dryer monster, we seem to be losing our spoons. A few months ago, I realized that our forks seemed to be disappearing. Now? Spoons. They are not lodged in the dishwasher. They are not lost in the back of the silverware drawer. They have simply disappeared.
So around here, we are reliving the Night Before Christmas. Not a creature is stirring.
Not stirring our coffee.
Not stirring our soup.
Not stirring our cereal.
We are all very still at the moment.