Throughout all of the last two weeks, I've been skittering around trying to either stoke fires or put out fires. From police to social worker to gas company to bank to courthouse. I feel like a pinball.
It's usually when the day is done that I start to look inward. Except that is, when the enormity of it all crashes down on my head in the middle of Mt. Royal Fine Foods or while I'm on the phone at work discussing printer cartridges. (Printer cartridges can be a VERY touchy subject for me).
I have different playlists on my Ipod for different moods and usually I have to keep it on "Cranky Camper" to even think about getting through the day. I am beginning to start my new playlist though I don't have a name for it yet. I already have an "Oh so sad" playlist but that doesn't really cover this situation. I'm not always sad. Sometimes I'm furious. Sometimes I'm broken. Sometimes I'm regretful. Sometimes I'm empty.
Since this is such a multi-layered issue with such poisonous implications, your run of the mill break up songs hardly apply. Not a lot of songs contain break up and jail time. (Hmmm perhaps I should start my own record label?)
I'm falling back on my favorite jazz singer a lot lately.
When I'm feeling vengeful? Definately "Gotcha" by Patricia Barber
Feeling broken? I recommend "Pieces" by Patricia Barber
Feeling regretful? I recommend "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman
Feeling meloncholic and sad? There's always Cake with "Sad Songs and Waltzes"
Need a good song to get you through filling out an order of protection at the county courthouse? I recommend John Mayer's "Gravity"
This playlist is taking suggestions...I need a good song for "Going to the Divorce Lawyer" tomorrow. And if a single person recommends "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" I promise you, I will find you and give you the painful slap you soooooo deserve!
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My favorite "relationship gone bad" tunes:
Drinking Again
I Can't Make You Love Me
I'm also quite fond of Jackson Browne's "My Opening Farewell", but -- let's be honest. All three of these songs are melancholy and contain a sense of remorse that the relationship is over. While you probably have some of that going on... I mean, the guy was a big part of your life for a long time... I think what you need now is a song that's more upbeat. You need the Allman Brothers.
Here it is: Ain't Wastin' Time No More
Last Sunday mornin'
the sunshine felt like rain
Week before
they all
seemed the same
With the help of God and true friends
I come to realize
I still had two strong legs
and even wings to fly
Ahh....a standard fav. I am sure it eminates from my office walls from time to time. Good ole Alanis. You Oughtta Know. But the BEST? Oh yes. Check it.
"In The End"
(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
Mad love for Linkin Park. So angry!!!!! Kick ASS!
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